In today’s world, our self-esteem seems to be more and more dependent upon the opinion others have about us. Have we received enough likes for our posts on FB, do we have enough followers on twitter, do we belong to the people who have been upvoted most on reddit? These things seem to impact our self-confidence in some way. However, you should not fall into this trap. Kathy has put up a noteworthy list that made me reconsider my source of confidence and happiness.
Since it the Tuesday back after a holiday weekend, I am trying to continue to embrace that cozy, calm ‘long weekend’ feeling by doing some self-reflection writing today. And I am sharing it here in hopes that you will join in.
Today’s Inspiration: I recently stumbled upon a video by Kyle Cease, re-posted by my friend Sophie. It is called: “Why People’s Opinions of You Are Not Real.”
While watching, there was one particular quote that stood out to me: “You are what you love and not what loves you.”
So today, I sat down to reflect on what I love…
Why This Post: The Culture of Validation. In our virtual world of “liking” “heart-ing” “retweeting” and showing our online support of each other, we can get swept up in caring too much about how people respond to us. Who loves us. Who doesn’t.
From Instagram hearts, to retweets, Facebook likes and ‘thumbs up’ notifications on YouTube, the positive praise from the virtual world can get pretty addictive – especially for young people (teens, college students and young professionals) looking for self esteem building, attention and validation in such fresh, unfolding stages of their lives.
And a little online love can certainly be a positive thing – a way of sending love, saying hello and showing support.
But it can also turn toxic. Negative feedback, bullying, mean comments and stereotyping, being the worst of it.
But also toxic to your self esteem and self worth: the feeling of getting swept up in other people’s lives and comparing yourself to them. Comparing your successes to their successes. Your path to theirs. If we live in a world of comparisons, we will never be enough. We will always want more for ourselves. But maybe we are enough, right now. Maybe we have so much love and light in our lives right now that we should only feel grateful, happy, confidant and proud.
Right now in this moment, you love SO MUCH. Really, just think about it. Make a list, like I did. Look how beautiful your world is. And how beautiful and awesome you are for loving this random collection of things — the things that make you, YOU. These things that inspire you, light you up with passion and make you feel all warm and cozy inside.
These loves are unique to you. Like a fingerprint from your heart.
You are what you love. And not what loves you.
And ps. I started this list with the hopes of writing at least 50 things, thinking I could never make it to 100. But it was easier than I thought to keep listing and loving. And I could easily continue on for another 101 things.
I tried not to get too perfectionistic about this, worrying about how ‘cool’ or ‘moving’ this list would be. Instead I just kept writing. The random things that popped into my head. As basic or quirky as they may sound. So if you try this for yourself, do the same. Just write, without self judgement or editing.
101 Things I Love – Kathy’s list
1. My husband.
2. My cats.
3. My friends.
4. My family, near and far.
5. Rainy days.
7. Warm towels.
8. Twinkly lights.
9. Weekend brunch. Waffles, pancakes, fruit, oatmeal, lattes. Good company.
10. Waking up early to see a pink sunrise.
11. Watching my cats sleep or roll around in sunbeams.
12. Dancing in my living room. Bonus points for Britney Spears music.
13. Getting home from a fancy party or event and putting on comfy, snugly clothes.
14. Beach air, the sound of crashing waves and a view of beautiful blue-green water.
15. The movie Titanic.
16. Avocado Toast.”
To read the rest of the article, check it out on the original source over at Kathy Palansky.